Things Get Sideways in My Brain

Sideways View

   Do you ever have those times when things just get kinda "cross-eyed" in your head?  It sometimes happens when we least expect it. The day can start out just fine, and before you know it.... everything heads south. Some of the symptoms are:  impatience,  ill temper,  confusion, misunderstandings, or simply "stupid" thoughts. I had one of these kind of days this week.  I won't even acknowledge the day it was... that isn't important.  What's worthy of noting is that most of a day was "lost" to unintelligible thinking.  Now, just to clarify, I had attended the funeral of a man I had known since I was a kid.  He lived a full, Christian life, friend to all he met.  The eulogy was excellent and fitting.  However,  my mind chose to dwell on the "death" part of life, instead of the celebration of life itself.  In the past few years I have been, unfortunately, widowed... twice.   The good fortune of this:  I had found true love in my life not once, but two times. How "lucky" can a person be?  

   Normally optimism and gratitude is foremost in my mind.  Nope, not this day. I have the most supportive, loving support group.  Everyone in my life has been superb in helping me through such difficult times. I have family, lifelong friends, and new friends that are constantly here for me.  So why, I ask, can I be anything but grateful?  My first thought is self pity.  Yes, I had my very own "pity party".  Not proud of this.  Many other folks are having more challenges than I, so what do I have to complain about?  When the fog cleared from my brain, I realized just how much I need to be thankful.  Suddenly the "life" part of living started to come more into focus.

    You may ask: oh, is everything OK now?  No, it is not all OK and in sharp view.  I am working on that, and most likely it will take me a long time to determine my new "life".  Most important is looking ahead to Life, not back at death.  My vision of existence is still very "askew",  perhaps sideways, but each day I work at straightening my outlook and the hope for an intensely happy future. With faith in God, and the love, and hugs of close friends, I do believe in the future, and fondly recall the many, many happy memories I retain in my "cross-eyed" brain.  For the current time, long-term exuberance is not expected, but I certainly look forward to a time when the picture of Life is more "normal" and somewhat stable.

    Here is my advice:  don't just take each day for what it is.  Take this day and Grab It, Hold Onto It, and Treasure all the Love and Memories, then Double That.... and you May end up with a Wonderful 24 hours to look back on and appreciate.  Today is here NOW, it will Never be HERE again.  

Now go..... CHERISH LIFE!....